Like i havent swallowed the concept that I have been saved
Driven by a divine force to a Light
which not even I can fully comprehend
My unperfectness is perfect for Him.
I dont get it
How can One love someone who cant even bare the lie of loving herself.
I've been so tired looking for some complicated reason and way
Instructions to push me away
Yet thats not what He gave me
He told me to "Believe. Love, Trust."
How Lord!? How can I trust when I feel no trust is left
No positive outcome can I fathom from this riddled mess
Love has become a chore that doesnt match the tears that keep brewing
Yet you tell me you see beauty?
Am I so small.. So closeminded and young?
Of course I see nothing yet You see everything
I see brokeness yet You see Unity in a Body that You've Created
Lord I keep turning away because I dont know where to look.
But I do
Ive become so comfortable in this darkness of a mood that I fear I can not handle Your light
The happiness that You will lay apon me, what if I cant
Why do I doubt
Why do I fight
Put reigns on me if You need, Lord, for I am as stubborn as a donkey and blind as a rock
Weak as a bendy straw...
I need You.....
Admitting that I am nothing with out You
Dead.. without You
Could it be that simple.....
Then why must I always feel so complexed?
Im starting to feel that Free Will is the curse of me
Free to think
Free to Speak
Free to choose
When in the end
All that I think is selfcentered nothing
And what I speak when I think nothing is foolish
and Foolish talk leads to Foolish actions...
How tired I am of being a fool..
Lord Thank You for never leaving me, ESPECIALLY, when I try to push You away. Thank You for saving such a fool like me. Thank You... Because by Your grace.. I am what I am, and I, am loved..
A LITTLE about the Author, Kristina
Thankful for who I AM. I am a woman after God's heart. A wife. A mother of 4 beautiful children. and a lover of all things good and true.. In that order. How do you do?